4.16.2008

7th Rock from the "Son"

Picking up a winter's worth of dog tirds wasn't enough Sunday morning. Felt like I was doing some serious time and should have been clad in an orange suit with a pokey stick! But, I love my dog. Just wish she wouldn't crap so much :)

Last night my mind was directed at learning more curse words from the man himself, Gordon Ramsay. Then, like a bomb, our son pulls out an emergency homework assignment from the depths of his backpack. Crap!! At least this time it doesn't stink...

The assignment is something I'm obviously not mature enough to handle and at first seemed funny (you'll know what I'm talking about in a bit. Hang tight). Yet, it kind of annoyed me in the manner that it was directed towards her whole 4th grade class. In a moment of hormonal insanity, she decided to have ALL the kids work on this extra assignment at home because of a few trouble makers. This isn't the first time it has happened, but now it was on the same night as Hell's Kitchen! Come on, lady!!

Our son is a hair away from being a straight A student and is always considerate of others at school, so a little extra homework won't hurt, right? This could be a fun learning experience for the whole family. Well there is no book to refer to, only the internet. Now I know this may sound crazy, but we are one of the actual few families who don't have internet at home for several reasons. I'm into studying the planets and stars so this should be easy. Anyway, we gathered up all the books on Astronomy we could find in the house and started searching for answers. Since most of them were published in the late 80's, I'm guessing they're not too accurate now!

After about half an hour of struggling with the resources we had, I call my parents to help us look stuff up on the Interent. Thanks so much for helping us out last night, Dad! I have to give him credit for helping me with my homework; most infamously speed reading many novels throughout my high school years. I giggle every time I hear "Huckleberry Finn" and wonder to this day what the book may have been about. What's funny is I'm now reading the works of Charlotte Brontë, maybe as an effort to get my reading skills back up to par, or just to replace the guilt from sliding by in high school literature.

As you all know the planet Uranus used to be pronounced "Your Anus". Today's pronunciation is a polite "Urine-iss". This planetary silliness caused quite a stir and I actually became giddy just talking about it.

I'll spare much of the details, but here are a few highlights:

  • How many moons does Uranus have? That's a little ironic, don't ya think?!?
  • Neptune is not as fun as Uranus.
  • Is Pluto even a planet anymore? Didn't think so, but on this sheet it was...
  • According to our son, the length of a day on Uranus should be 24/7
  • I probably know more about gas from my husband's anus than gas on any other planet


After this fun lesson, if astronomy is ever part of "No Child Left Behind" testing, our son will be fluent in the works of Uranus and may actually someday be able to give a dissertation with our findings.

2 comments:

GreezyWeezel said...

Hey now, your giving away my secrets again...

Signed,
Your Husbands Anus

justaddwine said...

I actually thought of something else in reference to what book or site you're looking at.

How many moons are on Uranus? Depends!

Get it :-P