What Constitutes a Bully These Days?

Admit it, we all feel bullied at one time or another. In most cases verbally, but as adults we have the audacity to move on and leave it behind. When a 10 year old gets termed a bully because he doesn't want to play with another child at recess, is it necessary to cause a big stink? Apparently at our son's elementary school it is.

I received a call yesterday afternoon from his teacher alarming me that he might be upset when we see him after school. She also informed me right away that the mother of this child threatened to call the police because my son was bullying him!!! WHAT??? ABSURD!!! Why would a parent come to such harsh retribution?

After a brief meeting with the teachers and students it was resolved and in fact the true story came out. Our son is completely off the hook and wasn't a deviant after all (could have told them that myself). I finally started asking questions about whom the involved parties are, and why the threat of police involvement would have been necessary (thinking there was an actual fight or threats made). I think I was actually almost laughing at this point, even though I was completely pissed! Come to find out this child wanted to play with our son and his friend and was persistent about doing so (for days apparently). In the past, he has caused many problems and was acting like a little terrorist, so we told our son to just walk away from him and play with others. In turn, I feel this kid is indeed the bully for stalking our son.

Anyway, his mother overreacted and threatened children to play with him or she's calling the cops. Sounds like she has a little growing up to do herself! Everybody wants to fit in and have friends, but some kids just shouldn't play together. I want my child to be friends with everyone and always be happy. Sometimes, that can't happen. Welcome to Life Skills 101. It's not our fault she can't cut the cord between her and her son. I know that may sound mean, but give him some freedom and the ability to learn some skills himself, especially before junior high rolls around.

To make things worse, the principal of the school said that not playing with someone on the playground is bullying! WHAT???!!! That's simply absurd. So if a second grade boy goes up to a group of 5th grade girls and wants to play with them and they turn him away, the girls are bullies? When I was in school bullying was verbal, physical and rumor related.

Our son is the most caring, compassionate, likable boy and always receives praise from family, teachers, aids, etc. Many people in the school know him and his kind heart. He even volunteered to read to a child in another classroom with Cerebral Palsy. That made my cry! He has a heart of gold and is by no means a BULLY!!

How do you define a bully??


Me said...

Be my friend. Or else.

((Wow, I'm glad my son is only two years old....))

justaddwine said...

Side Note: Whenever our son actually played with him in the past, this kid would tell on him about stuff he didn't do! So it's a no win situation.